The Reasons Why
Sunday, Nov. 21, 2004 at 10:22 p.m.
Sorry for the hiatus kids, I’m so swamped with everything. There’s times when I’m free, but I don’t have access to my laptop to update. Plus I have a lot on my mind. One reason I wanted to update tonight is because so many people want to know why I didn’t go to Syracuse. And I keep blowing them off because I don’t want to talk about it. But tonight I am. I’m going to give all the reasons why I am not at SU right now.
1- Ted. When I applied and when I got accepted to SU I was dating Ted. We went back and forth with the whole thing, and ultimately he wasn’t for it. He didn’t physically stand in my way, but I knew with everything that we went through and was going through we wouldn’t last if I went to SU. And I know it would have killed me if we broke up while I was there. It’s just something that would screw everything up and I’d freak out and come home to try and save our relationship, thus wasting $40,000.
2- I needed a new car. Ok I know this one sounds kind of dumb, but the Dave mobile was dying and I know he wasn’t going to make it back and forth to Syracuse one time, let alone all semester. So I needed to get a new car, which I got, but with that comes a $5,000 car loan, or whatever it’s up to. I planned on working at GNC up in Syracuse, but not nearly as many hours, and my payment is like $200 a month. What the hell was I going to do? Without a car, forget coming home.
3- $9,000 credit card debt. This is another fun one. Without working, how am I supposed to pay this? Mother would kick my ass. I would literally be working just to pay these bills and have no money.
4- Parent’s were against it. Syracuse is $40,000 a year. My parent’s shit a brick. They were not for it at all. They didn’t want to co-sign a loan, and didn’t support me at all. I managed to get a loan all by myself, but that didn’t faze them. This was a huge debt, and not worth it at all. Riiiight it’s only been my dream since I can remember.
5- Anxiety attack that almost landed me in the hospital. At the end of July/early August I had a huge anxiety attack. I was out of work for 3 weeks. Not even kidding. I stopped taking lexapro cold turkey without my doctor knowing and we think that along with the stress of SU and Ted made me crack. I was in no condition to battle the SU controversy, get well, get back to work, and try to figure out why my boyfriend didn’t seem to care that I was almost hospitalized. Thanks Ted.
So there you have it. Stop asking me. I don’t like to talk about it. I’m sure there’s some more little things here and there that have made me choose not to go, but these are the major ones with Ted leading by a landslide. It still hurts to think about it because I know I’m going to regret this, but what are you going to do.
I no longer have the e-mail I sent to SU declining my acceptance otherwise I would post it, but I do remember writing it with tears flowing down my face. When I was done sending it, I laid down on my bed with my SU Orangeman, and balled as he chanted “let’s go Orange!” (Clap, clap…clap, clap, clap.)
last & next
What'd ya miss Kel?
#36 and Kyle- Sunday, Aug. 21, 2005
Psychic Sue- Friday, Aug. 19, 2005
Random Late Night Phone Convo with Kyle William Bradley- Thursday, Aug. 18, 2005
Dan and I Are Back Together!- Monday, Aug. 08, 2005
I Met Liz Bishop!- Thursday, Aug. 04, 2005
newest archives profile guestbook design host