Just Some Random Thoughts on Jose

Tuesday, Mar. 15, 2005 at 12:10 a.m.

Sometimes I find it hard to believe everything that’s happened in the past couple of days. I guess I didn’t expect things to happen so fast. Yeah, as if that makes any sense coming from me, the person who wants to blurt out “I love you,” after the first date! I guess with my running streak of bad luck with guys I never thought I’d find what I was looking for so quick. I guess I was waiting to hear Jose say he’s not ready or doesn’t want a relationship like that with me. But that doesn’t seem like the case. He wants to spend all his time with me. He’s not hesitant to say I miss you, or to include me in future plans like a trip to NJ during Memorial Day weekend, or a family BBQ in the summer. I guess I still find this to be a bit shocking since I’m normally the one doing these things first.

I think Jose is incredibly attractive for a number of reasons. Physically he’s in awesome shape. His body is amazing. Completely toned and you can still see what used to be the definition of a six pack on his stomach. His skin is so smooth and he has hardly any hair to get in the way of his complexion. He has deep brown eyes and rich black hair. He’s on the short side, but that’s a good change for me. We seem to fit each other nicely. He has a sexy accent, and I constantly ask him to speak Spanish because it’s such a turn on to hear him talk. I love the fact he plays soccer. I always loved soccer players. I cannot wait to see him play. What a major turn on that will be. He’s an incredible dresser. Working at S&K he has to wear suits all the time, and they look amazing on him.

He’s constantly asking me if I’m ok, if I’m happy, if there’s anything wrong. He tells me all the time how happy he is and how much he likes me. It’s incredible. This is what I wanted from someone for so long.

So why do I feel so hesitant to let him know me? To let him see the real me? Why do I feel like it’s only a matter of time before he pulls a ‘Sean’ or a ‘Ted?’ I know it’s not right to judge someone based on the past and Jose seems nothing like either of them except for the soccer playing and the dark skin tone. I just want to be happy, and yet I’m afraid to…

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What'd ya miss Kel?

#36 and Kyle- Sunday, Aug. 21, 2005
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Random Late Night Phone Convo with Kyle William Bradley- Thursday, Aug. 18, 2005
Dan and I Are Back Together!- Monday, Aug. 08, 2005
I Met Liz Bishop!- Thursday, Aug. 04, 2005

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